World's Greatest Mom: Me

The Boys in their Sword Shirts.

On the Boat, ready to sail.

Demolishing the cake with any implements of destruction we can find.

So, I know you’re wondering how I managed to gain this most coveted title. Well, all it takes is to take your now six-year-old son and his boy cousins (except the Ceej and Arthur) sailing on a really, really windy day. Let’s be honest, though, they would’ve been happy to play on the boat in the marina, maybe even motor out of the marina for a bit, let alone sail with gale force winds. Wait, strike that, they were TERRIFIED of the gale force winds…they calmed down as soon as we took the sail down and started back for the safety of the docks. Besides terrifying and delighting them in one fail swoop…I managed to get even more points by making them all matching sword t-shirts, eat a pirate ship cake practically with our bare hands, and even find time to find a jelly-fish with papa Scott. A BIG thanks to papa Scott who took us out on the boat and who wins the honor of World’s most courageous grandpa…not afraid of little boys on an expensive sailboat, and a lot of white flour and sugar…along with lots of rum (root beer). That’s sort of a long title, but he deserves it. Anyway, we had a great birthday out on the bay and it was beautiful and there was, suddenly, a LOT of wind.

On a different note, Lily and Kaia spent the weekend with papa Scott and Katrina and had a wonderful time at a production of “High School Musical” in the city and learning about organic food, zero waste, composting, farmer’s marketing, eating locally, and honing their marketing ideas for their restaurant: “Cousins in the Kitchen.” Thanks to Katrina for loving those girls as much as they love her.

We’re halfway through the birthday season…sigh…just a few more to go.

Nervous Breakdown?

Why I am having a nervous breakdown now, 14 months after the second great breakdown should've occurred (9 months after the first one did occur), I don't really know. I think it has to do with this list:

Panini sandwiches and roasted red pepper and tomato soup.

Tortellini with prosciutto and a creamy pesto sauce, homemade bread, chocolate and peanut butter brownies.

Homemade chicken pot pie.

From scratch chicken tortilla soup and honey cornbread muffins.

Bacon, egg & cheese biscuits--with homemade biscuits and eggs freshly gathered from the mean chickens, just short of butchering the four-H pig down the street for bacon.

Why does this send me into a nervous breakdown? Because I spent a lot of time and effort on these meals, only to have my children inform me that they "aren't hungry."

I would like to move in with some people who REALLY appreciate my efforts.

Last night we had KRAFT macaroni and cheese. Everyone ate it.

A Conversation in the car

On the way home from school today while listening to NPR's "Science Friday:"

Me: Canyon, did you know that they're talking about science.

Canyon: (who currently wants to be a scientist who studies Antarctica) What's science?

Me: It's what scientists study.

Alice: Mommy, that's potty talk.

Me: (as if I, myself, am 2 1/2) No it's not.

Canyon: Oh.

State of Mind

Things are looking good. Homework is done, baths are had and....drumroll please....Alice POOPED IN THE POTTY!!!
Better yet, she did it without my knowledge, completely on her own, and then promptly asked if we could call Aunt Sadie/Cinderella. So--there you go.

Conspiracy

So this hasn’t been the first time, and I’m pretty sure that it won’t be the last…but I think the little girls have developed a pact. Jane is at the age where if she isn’t endangering her life in some way, she’s just a whiney little stinker pants (case in point: this morning I caught her in the shower just as she was taking the plastic guard off my razor and putting it in her mouth—you know, those kinds of things). Another BIG problem is that she runs for the toilet any chance she gets. Therefore, we have a rule in our house that you have to flush (I know, we're callous and unfeeling), close the lid, and—for extra measure—close the bathroom door. However, Alice and Canyon aren’t always the best with this…so I spend every waking moment checking on the status of the toilet.

I think the girls got together and worked a deal around these insipid “rules.” Now, I must, for all your sakes insert a bodily-function-revolting-warning for those with the faint of heart (yes, Dad, this means you). Alice decided to poo on the carpet…just skip the middle man altogether (the middle man being the toilet). Don’t worry, I didn’t let Jane near it. You see where this is going though…we’re going to have to have 24 hour surveillance. However, I think that if Jane actually got a hold of it…she’d probably think twice about putting it in her mouth…at least, I hope so. I don’t know, I think these girls are doing me in.

p.s. THIS IS NOT AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE, so advice would be helpful.